I’m feeling suicidal now
If you are feeling suicidal right now, know that it is okay to ask for support, you are not a burden and there is help out there.
Many of us have felt out of control or hopeless at times. Finding coping mechanisms that help and trans-affirming services that support us are important.
You are not alone in this, there are options and resources to guide you towards safety.
Learning how to support yourself while navigating tough thoughts and feelings can empower you to take the actions you need to stay safe.
It’s important to get support and safety immediately if you’re feeling suicidal. Safety can be in your body, mind and spirit, it can be within you or an expression of the physical environment around you.
Even if it feels impossible, you can get through this crisis.
I need to talk to someone
If you are feeling suicidal, there is help available right now.
You don’t have to be on your own, everyone deserves to feel heard, understood and safe.
Crisis services are there when you need immediate help.
You can be anonymous (unless you’re at serious risk), be yourself, and talk through anything that is on your mind.
Staying alive is the most important task, but we know that being misgendered on the phone when calling a crisis line is really painful. We all deserve safe and trans-affirming spaces, particularly when vulnerable and in crisis.
You may also not get the reaction or support that you need from a support service or worker, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t find that support and care – it may just take a little bit more searching.
Below is a list of services and what to expect when you reach out.
As trans people, it is important in these times of need that the support we receive during vulnerable times of crisis is trans-affirming, regardless of whether or not what we are experiencing is specifically to do with gender. You may also not get the reaction or support that you want and need from a support service or worker, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t find that support and care – it may just take a little bit more searching.
What you can do if you are experiencing suicidality
If you are suicidal, reach out and let someone know or call a crisis service right now.
Please remember, you don’t have to feel like this on your own. There is help available and your life matters.
In unrelenting and difficult times, it is understandable to think that ending your life is an option.
We want our trans community to know there are always options to help get through what you’re experiencing.
Our challenges don’t define us and in order to thrive, we need our community, mutual aid and services that meet our needs.
Being in crisis can stop us from reaching out and getting the help we need and actually want.
Some negative thoughts and feelings are pervasive: you may feel not worthy of help, that you’re too much of a burden or have lost hope.
It is important to be aware that these loud thoughts and feelings aren’t facts, remind yourself that you are worthy, you are valuable and that hope can return.
Creating a safety plan can also be useful in times of crisis to guide others to support you when you can’t yourself.
Although it can be tempting, it is important to not isolate yourself. This is especially important if you are feeling like you are not able to help yourself.
Even if you do feel all alone, there is always help for you.
I’m not sure how to look after myself at the moment
Looking after yourself just in the present moments is the first step.
You can navigate tomorrow with support in place. For now, focus on finding safety today.
Below are a list of ideas to get through the immediate moments or difficult times.
Click on any of these suggestions to reveal some more information on each one.
These can be steps of mindfulness in the body or mind, such as painting your nails, sorting some books by colour or author name, making a cup of tea and drinking it slowly concentrating on the warmth and flavour, reading a magazine for 5 minutes, or counting your walking steps around the house, or going for a walk around the block, or even catching a bus or train somewhere familiar and then heading back home.
Give yourself a task or a journey to go on doesn't always distract from the feelings, but it may give you something to focus.
Are there any ways you can distract yourself right now?
Self care is anything that means you being looked after, supported, and feeling safer.
This can include getting enough sleep, eating food regularly, or doing some movement or exercise every day.
Self care can be a bit more involved too, like tidying up the space you’re in so that you’ve got a nice space to hang out in, or giving yourself time to do something you really like such as reading a favourite book or comic, or listening to a podcast you really like.
Feeling low on energy? Starting small is okay. Start by walking from one end of your room to the other, or to your front gate and back. If that feels okay, try a bit further and walk around the block, if that feels okay, walk to the next block. If you can’t do it, that’s okay, go to a different activity.
There’s no right or wrong way to be looking after yourself right now, you can take your time.
Safety planning might sound like a lot of work or stress, but it can help you get clear on what to do in crisis.
You can find out more about safety planning here.
Focusing on your breathing – take some deep breaths, holding for a slow count of seven for your breath in, and five for your breath out. It can help to count how many breaths you’ve taken, for example counting up to 6 and then starting again, and seeing how many sets of deep breath you can do.
Wrap your arms around yourself in a tight hug and give yourself a nice squeeze for a count of 10, then relax and take a few breaths before giving yourself another hug.
Sensations with others can help, such as having your hair played with or brushed, or lightly stroking your arm. If you’re solo, it can still feel nice and comforting. Commit to doing an activity like this for a set amount of time – like a 5 minute or 10 minute timer, and when that goes off, set yourself another one for a little longer.
You don’t have to be around lots of other people, but just being out in the world can be helpful, or at least a change of scenery. Sit in a local park, or go somewhere you like sitting and watching – whether that’s watching people walk past a busy street, or watching waves lap on the beach or trees blowing in the wind.
If it’s night time, you can still go out in public and be near other people, but be mindful of your safety.
There are all sorts of ways you can find distractions at home, like cleaning or going through some of your favourite things
Make sure to avoid distractions that could lead to you feeling worse or getting triggered – it’s not always easy to know what these are at first, and that’s okay. Talk to someone while you are working out what to do.
ACON’s new Suicide support resource has lots of great information, advice, and activities on how to look after yourself right now.
Visit the site here.